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Overheard Words |
About the Columnist
Leah Peterson either doesn’t know, or refuses to choose, what she wants to be when she grows up.
A mother of four, she now lives in southern California where she writes, paints, illustrates and shoots photographs, takes clog dancing lessons, plays the piano and clarinet, makes benches out of knotty pine, weaves, sews, covers cherries with chocolate, embarrasses her 12-year old daughter by singing really loud, consults on mortgages and actively listens for the stories being told all around her.
In her column, Overheard Words, Leah shares revelations and resonations gained through her highly developed skills of eavesdropping on strangers.
Good
Food, Bad Food
I want to eat good-for-me food. I really do. But when you buy Twinkies,
you know those suckers won’t go bad on you in two days and that they
are so chemically perfect and sterile in their little plastic homes that
you won’t get sick when you eat them. At least not right away...
Puking
at 30,000 Feet
Words Overheard on a plane somewhere over the west
coast:
Mrs. 27A to the attendant: ‘Do you think you could get her
to shut that
door? It's just not a nice sound...that vomiting.'
Undressing
Once in the dressing room, I heard two girls in the next stall talking.
The one girl asked her friend, ‘When I lift my arms this high, does
my bra show?’ to which the other girl said, ‘Yes. A little.’
And the first girl said, ‘Ok. Good.’
False Advertising
Words Overheard in the grocery store, a 7ish year old boy to his younger brother: 'Oh. you don't want that kind. it doesn't really taste like fire.' To which the younger brother looked dubiously at the packaging which was red and made the outrageous claim in black, bold letters. 'Really. Just believe me. I've tasted fire so I know!'
Lucky Stars, Bad Signs and Planets in Retrograde
I could forget to do something entirely obvious like attach the letter to the 2,437 emails that go out to some really important clients. And when the boss asks why I missed something so vital, important and easy, I could reply with, ‘I’m going to have an extreme amount of patience on the 14th through 16th, which makes working with children or animals a natural fit for me, but I can be a bit flighty and unpredictable from the 17th to the 21st -- try not to schedule anything too important on those days if at all possible. But the good news is, the sting of these recent defeats will drive me to brilliant new strategies!’
Exactly
When Did I Become a Madam?
What does it feel like to be 15 and have no concept of age? When did age
25 turn into a 'ma'am'? And how great is that to feel cooler than
everyone else in the room!
Cell
Phone Protocol--For You
...in the hallway of a medical center: Tall, Dark and Handsome, about
8 feet away and striding purposefully towards me: ®So, I know we donþt
really know each other, but if you arenþt busy, would you like to go out
to dinner this Friday?þ
Spoonvivor
’Well, my parents don’t like me hanging around the house. My
brother don’t wanna spend time with me; he asked me to like, take
off. My brother-in-law thinks I’m a total dork and he picks on me
so....I just thought I’d come over here and see what was going on.’
Crab
Salad With Creamy Crap
I wonder who will talk to me next. I hope it’s someone like the guy
that removed his dentures once just to show me how fast he could pop them
in and out. That guy was great, too...
Dude Like
Duh
'You're kidding! All you have to do is like, make him
wear socks!" says Girl Four who is at least three years older than her
friends. Girl Four looks the most mature, at least numerically, in the
group. She's the one that 'knows' things.
Girl Two, across the table and now wishing she hadn't said in her out-loud
voice: 'I could like, so never be with a boy who has ugly feet!'
looks properly chastened and begins to practice her extremely interested
yet resolute face in case of encountering a boy she likes who has ugly
dogs.
Girl Three grabs her Teen Cosmo looking for supporting evidence in the
article "Operation Save Your Relationship: Use Our Sock Plan of
Defense!"
Read Becky McCadney's interview of writer photographer painter artist Leah Peterson