Self-Publish…Or Don't

A Writer Is A Writer by David Boyne ©2002 All rights reserved

One of our advertisers on writersmonthly.com is the Southern California Writers Conference. Considering that they are in the business of helping writers connect with agents and publishers for the purpose of getting their work published, they’ve chosen an interesting slogan:

A writer is a writer before, as well as after, publication.

This is a remarkable message. Because it’s true.

Having said that, I will also say that I am absolutely convinced the only people who will get the message, who will know and understand its truth—are published writers.

I am just smart enough to know that there is nothing I can say to convince you—the unpublished writer reading this column— that being published has anything to do with the quality or value or meaning of you, your work, or your life on this lonely planet. So of course, I have to try. Here goes:

There is only one small advantage to being published. Sometime, when you are under the influence of alcohol or a happy mood and your normally robust defenses are weakened, you may not be thinking clearly, and you may inadvertently admit under questioning that you are, in fact, ‘a writer’.

When this happens, you will always be asked this question next: "Are you published?"

Here is the one advantage to being published: You can answer, "Yes"—and if you are wise, you will excuse yourself without saying another word and continue your drinking at home.

Okay. I tried. Now I’ll move on, because there are some astonishing things happening in the world of publishing, and some of these things are wicked keen. Some are just wicked.

First, the Wicked:

Were Charles Dickens to walk into the editorial offices of the typical mainline publishing company today, he would be right at home: it’s still the same disorganized, idealistic, techno-phobic, optimistic, anti-innovative, attention-deficit-disordered world that he knew in the 1800s.

And, given that the overwhelming majority of mainline publishing companies in this country have been ingested and assimilated into multi-media conglomerated corporations, were Ebenezor Scrooge to walk into the business offices of the typical mainline publishing company today, he, too, would be right at home: it’s the same greed-driven, risk-averse, miserly, bean-counting, control-freaked world that he knew.

Please note: Charles Dickens was a real person. Ebenezor Scrooge was not. In fact, Mr. Scrooge was nothing more than a figment of Mr. Dickens’ imagination. Also note: After experiencing the mainline publishing companies of his own day, Charles Dickens chose to self-publish the figments of his imagination. As evidence of the potential power of all publishing forms, I submit this: Ebenezer Scrooge is now a figment of your imagination.

Now, the Wicked Keen:

The old, bellicose, hot-air rant of the 1960s radicals—The Revolution Will Not Be Televised!— has finally come to pass.

In fact, we are already deep into the revolution, and it is happening, not on television, but on the World Wide Web— on the monitor of your personal computer.

Within the financial reach (or at least, the grasping, piratical reach) of the average impoverished writer, are all the tools they need to self-publish their work. Not just xerographing a few sloppy copies and pressing them on relatives in lieu of Christmas, Bat Mitzvah and Anniversary gifts—but professionally publishing, proclaiming and disseminating their work to a potential audience of billions.

With just a computer, a connection to the Internet, some software applications (all the basic software you require comes with your computer or is available, free, on the Internet), and the silly inclination, you—Yes, Friend! YOU!—can be a published writer.

But maybe you should take this quick Personal Goals Test before you plunge in to the work of properly, or improperly, self-publishing:

Question #1: Do you want lots of people to like you, to respect and admire you, to take you seriously and listen, really listen to your opinions?

Question #2: Do you want to be a writer?

If you answered yes to Question #1: Stop reading this column. Forget about writing. Go out and get a lot of cosmetic surgery and make a lot of money. That is how you will reach your goals.

If you answered yes to Question #2: Read again the slogan of the Southern California Writers Conference.

[If you answered yes to both Questions: Find a competent psycho-therapist and begin treatment immediately. ]


Self-Publishing Questions...and Answers

Q: I’ve done some research into self-publishing and boy, it sure seems like a lot of work. I mean, if I go that route, I may not have the energy left to stay up and watch Sex In The City.

I think it’s best to get an agent and let my agent find a publisher, while I concentrate on the work of being a brilliant writer. I mean, they’re the experts— that’s why they’re called Agents and Publishers! And besides, they’ve got the self-interest of making a profit to motivate them on my behalf! And with the publisher, they’ve already given me an advance! So I’m sure they’ll be hustling to sell my book. I mean, selling my book is their business, isn’t it?
—Holden N. Ron

A: Well, Holden, it seems you’ve got it all figured out. And believe me, it sounds good: you write, they sell. Selling books is what Agents and Publishers do, right? Can’t argue with that. And if you can’t trust a publisher to sell a book they’ve invested all that money in by giving you an advance, then heck, who can you trust!?

But on the slight chance that you’re open to doing a little more research, I suggest you read Kris Wallace’s column, New York—Writers’ Promised Land?

And if you’d like to hear what a few "best selling" authors have to say about the work-ethic, business savvy and ethics of mainline publishers, click and read this: http://www.nytimes.com/2002/07/25/books/25BOOK.html?tntemail1

Q: If I self-publish, am I "tainted" forever?
—T. Mary

A: Gosh, T. Let’s pretend we’re publishers and we’re looking for a book to publish so we can get that set of Ping clubs and red leather bag we’ve had our eye on.

What choices do we have?

There’s the slush pile. Yeah, right!

Then there are the agents calling us all day, thrusting manuscripts at us and swearing that if we publish the manuscript in their hands, we will make money.

Then there’s this author who is writing a second book while marketing her first, self-published book. Hmmm...this author is building a name, a reputation, and a network of promotion contacts and venues. And hey, look at these sales figures: the dang book has been selling. Hmmm... we don’t need a focus group or divine inspiration, to tell us people will buy this book. Hmmm...

Which of those three choices has the best chance of getting us those Ping clubs, T?

Still don’t believe that the days of self-publishing being tainted are ending? Click and read this:
http://www.wired.com/news/print/0,1294,53996,00.html

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From San Diego Writers Monthly publishes California Writers, California authors, new writers, offering readers info on how to get published, from literary agents, writing coaches, San Diego editors on editing, self-publishing how-to, publishing chap books and short-run books, book doctors, ghost writers, San Diego authors events, interviews of writers, book reviews, free readings, book signings, free stories, online fiction, poetry workshops, free novels, free essays, free ideas, science fiction, humorous stories, rants, funny essays, copywriting, freelancing info, and musings about living on this lonely planet circling a lonely star.