The Word On Film

Good Books Make Bad Movies
...and Dan Simmons, I want my disc back

I kindly thank Dan Simmons for the bulging disc in my back. Yes, I do give credit to the Hugo Award-winning novelist for the intense siatic pain in my left hip and both legs. After my doctor kindly probed my back and said, "Yep, you siatica" and then offered me various perscriptions for steroids, anti-inflamitories and narcotics, I knew that this was all Mr. Simmons fault.

See, this Christmas a good friend gave me Mr. Simmons award-winning book "Hyperion" along with the three follow-up novels "The Fall of Hyperion," "Endymion" and finally "The Rise of Endymion." These three books held me captive for weeks. Literally, against my will, I did nothing but sit on my cheap, hand-me-down furniture to devour these books. I sat for long periods, ignoring the discomfort, then pain, then numbing sensations. Damn you, Dan Simmons!

Well, the good news is that the steriods worked and the anti-inflamitories did their job as well. The doctor had threatened to send me to a pain clinic for treatment with epidurals, but I feel fine now, expect for one thing--that damnable Dan Simmons!

"Hyperion," for those of you who are not science fiction fans, is perhaps one the best books written in the genre for some time. Mr. Simmons uses his skill as a horror, hard-boil detective, and action/adventure writer to unravel for you the six tales of the Hyperion pilgrims. After reading "Hyperion," I thought only two things: first, that I wanted to read more, so I immediately began "The Fall of Hyperion," and second, that this book would make a terrible movie.

Ah, there is it... the bridge into my movie column.

It took Simmons two quality books, and then two "gosh, people are buying this stuff" books to tell the tale of the planet Hyperion and its boogey metal monster, the Shrike. The characters were humerous, demented, romantic, tradgic, and completely engaging. All I thought was "Geez, Hollywood would butcher this!"

And not even Hollywood... try the small cable screen, like the Sci-Fi Channel. Recently, I have given many alcolades to this oh-so-perfect cable station. They did the marathon of a mini-series, "Taken," explored another scenario of Steven King's "Firestarter," and even put some news faces to "Battlestar Gallatica." What they also attempted to cover in 8 hours was the first three novels of Frank Herbert's "Dune" saga.

Wow.

I mean, wow. "Dune" was awesome and it was just awful. The sets, actors, music, and special effects were something that I have yet to see in a mini-series. Until this point, Danielle Steel owned this made-for-tv nitch. "Dune" had a bold introduction with one or two "big name" actors, not quite Matrix special effects, and a whole crew of Eastern Europeans. "Dune" is SciFi Channel's "Lord of the Rings."

Now, where "Dune" failed... the same as all novel-to-screen transitions, was compression. Herbert created a rich, complicated world with secret orders, double-double crosses, and the famed line "Plans within plans." Was this successful as a mini-series, given more than twice the length of an average movie to explore and explain the "Dune-universe?" No. Characters were cut out or severly reduced. The plans within plans became one plan. The struggles of the characters were squished and mashed into the 4 hours.

Dan Simmons' six main characters would never stand a chance against the movie-making machine. This does sadden me because, even thought I know the story would lose some of its essence, I would still watch the movie. I would watch the movie and not quite have my vision of the "Hyperion" world fulfilled. I wonder if Dan Simmons would feel the same way.

Now I am gently startig yoga, make timid stops at the gym, and sleeping on memory foan matress top and pillow. Ahhh... For some reason movies never mess with my back. So, Mr. Simmons, I am ready for you and anyone else who has four books that I am tempted to read for hours on end.

Rebecca invites your ideas, insights, reviews, arguments, thoughts and incredibly wrong opinions:
back-talk Rebecca

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